The Universality of Elitism

First and foremost, Amy and I have found a place to live!!! We're renting a little dependencia about a block away from the FGH office here in Quelimane. It's very common for houses to have a small living quarters behind their home, which is often occupied by the empregada (maid). It is very clean and secure and wonderful! Two bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom, living room, and a hallway that faces outside and joins all of the rooms. It costs 6,000 metacais a month, which is about $240 a month...divided by two. AND it includes water. Of course, we don't have hot water. But that's ok! The summer will be starting soon and I'm sure we'll be loving cold showers at that time. It's also very close to the loja de sorvette (ice cream shop) and Catholic church. So I can feed by belly and soul!

Life lesson #2: elitism knows no boundries. Normally, bedtime consists of Amy and I curled up under our mosquito nets, telling bedtime ghost stories or fairy tales. But last night we were laughing so hard, our bellies hurt! We have become the target of American ex-pat hypocritical academic elitism and snobbery. I thought people like this only existed around college campuses and buildings of higher education. But alas, we have discovered that this subset of "glass half empty" people exist in rural Africa as well. Who knew?!

I need to qualify this by saying that the VAST majority of people we've met here have been wonderful and are extremely supportive of our projects. But we've discovered a smattering of Americans who think that our arrival in Mozambique has ushered in the destruction of their little utopia. Yes, two pig-tail and baseball hat wearing girls are treated like the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse.

For example, when we are around these people in large groups, they make sure to let Amy and I know how smart they are. They also ask us unfriendly questions disguised as pleasant conversation like, "so, why exactly are you here?" "do you really think you'll be proficient in the language enough to carry out your research or are you expecting other people to do the work?" "do you really believe you understand the intricacies of the culture and villages in order to be culturally sensitive and effective with your studies?" "what are your thoughts on PEPFAR/president Bush's allocation of funds to a limited range of NGO's as opposed to giving the (insert my thought: semi-corrupt and quasi-unstable) African governments control of the (insert my thought: American tax payer's) money?"

At first, Amy and I attempted to give thoughtful responses, or honest responses like, "I don't know." But that just brought a smirk to their faces and they consequently dismissed us as being unworthy or unfit to be in Moz, doing what we're doing. So, Amy and I have decided the best way to fight elitist bullies is to resort to sarcasm and absurdity. This is why we were laughing till we cried...we came up with an arsenal of responses.

Question: Why exactly are you here?
Answer:
-We heard Mozambique has great beaches!
-Because coconut milk does wonders for my complection.
-I wanted to see which sunblock works best: Hawaiian Tropic, Banana Boat, or Coppertone.

Question: Do you really think you'll be proficient in the language enough to carry out your research or are you expecting other people to do the work?
Answer:
-It only took me 4 days to learn Mandarin, so I'm anticipating that Portuguese is no problem.
-I was Portuguese in a past life.
-I have no intention to bother with another language. Do you think I could hire a translator/pool boy?

Question: what are your thoughts on PEPFAR/president Bush's allocation of funds to a limited range of NGO's as opposed to giving the African governments control of the money?
Answer:
-Is PEPFAR like PETA?
-Is Bush still president? When is the next election anyhow?